Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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