I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
