turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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