I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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