please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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