There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
