it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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