dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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