All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize