i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
he shaved USA in his pubs
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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