I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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