After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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