I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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