I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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