Where are you?
In a non slutty way
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
