Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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