evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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