You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
