So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
