I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
i think i just lost a toe
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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