im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I puked a lego.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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