How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
