Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
