Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
