i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
