oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
We named our party play list daddy issues
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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