CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
