I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
