real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize