Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
