So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
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Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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