Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
