So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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