well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I supernannyed him into submission
Holy shit dude........stairs
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
