I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
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he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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