I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
