I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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