she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
