Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Is it penis luge time yet?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
A bitchslap is in order.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
