So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
