his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
