I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
