i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
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She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
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But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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