McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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