Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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