I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
either way he was missing a nipple.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
