around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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