2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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