One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
