Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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