he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
