I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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