Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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