We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize