They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
