I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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